God-Wrestler

My Son's new "Hot" Radio

Q: My teenage son showed me his new “purchase,” a high quality car stereo he bought from a “friend.” It had all the marks of being stolen and was cheap ($25) My son claims it’s legit. Owned by the guy he got it from. I have seen the guy and he looks pretty shifty. What do I do? Any questioning of the source releases an angry “you don’t trust me!” response. A: It’s clear you are well into the jungle of teen-parent relationships. One moment calm and peaceful, the next sullen, dismissive, argumentative… (or all at once!) What might seem a simple act of verification painfully escalates into war. In this case, it’s difficult to determine the truth. The hope here is a stronger relationship and an opportunity for character building rather than painful estrangement. That means clear and firm communication of your concerns and a 

Bullying at School

Q: My child is getting bullied at school. 
Do I teach her karate or just ignore it? A: It sounds like the environment at school is not conducive to education. The principal and teachers need to know what is happening in their play yard. It’s a good idea to teach your child self-defense. It would be a wonderful idea if you could find a way to improve the school atmosphere with “Conflict Resolution” techniques and age-appropriate mediation skills. Go talk to the Teachers. Seek a creative way to improve the situation. Become a peacemaker in the name of Christ. Your child will learn a valuable lesson about you 
in the process.

Revolving / Consumer Marriages

Q: Many of my friends are in “revolving marriages,” one legally married partner after another.  It makes me want to run from the whole “institution.”

And I've just heard of young people marrying someone in the miltary just for the health and extra pay benefits.

Why are people so fickle?

A:  While the current economic situation may add a financial facet to this, our society in general seems to be in a season of fear about long term commitments. 

Many of us operate on “if it feels good to me, then it’s OK.”  Then when it no longer feels "OK," we bail out.

Long term commitments are evaluated by whether it feels painful, suspicious, empty, or is pleasurable, joyful, and/or satisfying.

If it’s bad, you bail out. If good, you stay. Some call this is a “consumer” marriage.

This leads to “serial monogamy” where partners are legally replaced in succession when the pain and frustration appears insurmountable.

Reconciliation is usually too late and fails because it too is relies on the “good feelings.”

I believe God wants us in life-long committed relationships.  The church sees marriage as parallel to the unconditional love God has given to us in Christ.

In fact, the Bible is really all about

The "perfect" wedding?

Q: We’ve got a wedding and a problem. 


My father has been non-existent in my 
life and when he shows up it greatly disturbs 
my mother, brothers and sisters.

Should 
I invite him to my upcoming marriage?

It could be a disaster!

A: Weddings and Funerals are noted for 
bringing families together as well as bringing 
out family skeletons!

Such occasions are a volatile mix of high 
hopes with painful realities.

Everyone wants it to be “perfect,” but everyone 
has a different definition of "perfect."

It seems that your father has left many 
broken bridges and there’s great danger 
in his attendance.

On the other hand, this may be

Sacrifice an airline seat...

Q: Recently, on an airplane, I was asked by an older man if I would change seats so that he and his wife could sit together.

I had reserved an aisle seat for the legroom but made the change anyway. I was angry the whole flight (4 hours!) Should I have refused the trade?

A: For me, Airline flights are full of trials and tribulations, especially nowadays. Such trips are good opportunities to strengthen your prayer discipline and practice Godly patience!

Sometimes when we do the right thing, we regret it later. It may be for the reasons you mentioned, but it may be because we discover we made the wrong decision.

(For example, the couple mentioned above could have just met and were not married at all!)

No one wants to be taken advantage of, especially when you are trying to be helpful!

The only thing you can do now is

Job Hunting for your true vocation

Q: I’ve been unemployed for over three months and I collect unemployment insurance.

Quite frankly, I enjoy the “vacation” and have stopped looking for a job.

This is great but I have to certify that I’m still job hunting.

Is that OK? It’s my money, isn’t it?

A: I believe the money came from your employer as part of our fair labor laws.

It’s intent was to cushion the trauma of job loss for everyone.

The danger is to claim it as a personal “right,” and then abuse it.

Your dilemma is twofold. First, continuing to be dishonest under the

A cat's tale of two owners

Q: My beloved cat was lost for four months.

Yesterday I discovered a family a block away found her injured from a cat fight, nursed her back to health ($350 worth!) and have adapted her.

They love her deeply, but so do I.

Do I let them keep Pywacket? (Now called “Snooky,” yuck!)

A: Legally, a case could be made for returning things to its rightful owner, but then again “possession is nine-tenths of the law.”

Maybe a “cat call-off” (with the two of you standing on either side of the cat begging it to come to you) could “prove” who is right.

(Here’s an unethical hint; rub some oily tuna on your hands! Just kidding.... )

But both of you have attachments to this well loved pet, and we know that

Errant Shopping Cart

Q: Recently in the market, my shopping cart knocked a display and some packages fell down, scattering all over the floor.

Nothing appeared broken. 

No one was around.

I quickly left. 

Maybe I should have picked them up, but that’s for the employees, right?

A: I’ll bet you were hearing your Mom's voice as you walked out the door: “Pick up your room,” and “Don’t leave that for me to clean up!” as you walked out the door.

Perhaps you forgot about the ceiling camera?

And what about the clerk who peeked around the corner just as you walked away?

Of course clerks get paid for things like this.  And they often clean up messes caused by customers and never ask for the price of the product.  (I did when I worked as a clerk in High School.)

But it was still your fault and your responsibility even when they "fix it" for you.

Whether you were seen or not, it only takes

Quality Relationship vs. Lower Price

Q: A roofing salesman has spent three hours last night in our home and sold us on the quality, 
integrity and price of his product.

Today, we looked on the Internet and found the same product for much less.

He worked so hard and we were ready to buy from him, but money is tight. What now?

A: It could be worse. The salesman could be 
your brother-in-law! ;-)

I’ve been told that sales are 90% relationship. 
(And I know that the spiritual life is 100% 
relationship!) Trust (i.e. “faith”) in the salesperson 
is critical.

There seems to be a good relationship between 
you and the salesman, and therefore his company.


The Internet referral is an unknown quantity. Will it stand behind it's product? Will they treat you like a valued customer or even friend?

It boils down to

A "HOT" Radio

Q: My teenage son showed me his new “purchase,” a high quality car stereo he bought from a “friend.”

It had all the marks of being stolen and was cheap ($25)

My son claims it’s legit. Owned by the guy he got it from. I have seen the guy and he looks pretty
shifty.

What do I do? Any questioning of the source releases an angry “you don’t trust me!” response.

A: It’s clear you are well into the jungle of teen-parent relationships. One moment calm and peaceful, the next sullen, dismissive, argumentative… (or all at once!)

What might seem a simple act of verification painfully escalates into war.

In this case, it’s difficult to determine the truth.

The hope here is a stronger relationship and an