My father has been non-existent in my
life and when he shows up it greatly disturbs
my mother, brothers and sisters.
Should I invite him to my upcoming marriage?
It could be a disaster!
A: Weddings and Funerals are noted for bringing families together as well as bringing out family skeletons!
Such occasions are a volatile mix of high hopes with painful realities.
Everyone wants it to be “perfect,” but everyone has a different definition of "perfect."
It seems that your father has left many broken bridges and there’s great danger in his attendance.
On the other hand, this may be
an opportunity for bridge repair.
Such repair takes great energy that could easily divert everyone from your marriage!
God is constantly seeking reconciliation and renewal of love, but not at the expense of making people doormats and ruining the message of love that can proclaimed on a wedding day.
Your fears of disaster are well founded.
Christian marriage is a celebration of
the unending love of God in Christ.
We claim the power of the Holy Spirit to meet any challenge and overcome any obstacle.
However, this usually takes a major effort and it involves many people.
A wedding day is a poor choice to start the repair work.
It is better done before or after the wedding.
Is your father truly contrite and seeking reconciliation.
Do the others wish that as well?
Such work takes small steps, a phone call, a letter, a brief meeting in a public place.
The pain of the past needs to be drained. Healing takes time.
You could quietly let your father know of your plans and begin to lovingly explore reconciliation.
Be honest with him as to why he was not invited.
Your marriage may become an opportunity to discover a new father, …and it’s ok to be very cautious in all of this to prevent further brokenness.